Reddit Users Slam Bride for Calling Maid of Honor “the Worst”

By agreeing to someone’s maid of honor, you’re typically accepting that you’ll be responsible for a few pre- and post-wedding tasks: You should plan to attend pre-wedding events, including the bridal shower, bachelorette party, and rehearsal dinner (and maybe even help plan them), you’re expected to give a speech during the reception, and you should be available to support the couple with some reasonable nuptial-related tasks in the months leading up to the wedding. All that said, that doesn’t mean you’re to be at their constant beck and call, and your help should be limited to things like packing wedding invitations and welcome bags or ensuring that the other bridesmaids have purchased their attire. One bride recently took to Reddit to slam her maid of honor, calling her “one of the worst” for not pitching in on certain jobs, but users were quick to come to the attendant’s defense.

In a thread titled “Possibly One of the Worst Maid of Honors” on Reddit’s r/weddinngdrama sub-Reddit, one user outlined all of the ways in which she felt her maid of honor had let her down. “I got married this past spring and the day was absolutely perfect, despite the behavior of my MOH leading up to and on my wedding day,” she noted. “Context: my MOH is the same age and we were friends for five years when I asked her to be my MOH. Things quickly took a turn for the worst when the time had come for her to support me and for my focus to shift on planning the wedding. I was oblivious to the transgressions that would pop up here and there, but with the perspective of literally everyone (my family, in laws, mutual friends) I began to see the mistake I made. I continue to stand up for her and excuse her actions.”

So, what “transgressions” did the maid of honor make? First, the bride notes that her maid of honor didn’t plan a bachelorette party, and while this is generally something this key attendant is responsible for, if the pair didn’t have a conversation about that expectation, it’s somewhat unfair to put the blame entirely on the maid of honor. On the day before the wedding, the bride asked her maid of honor to pick up a Polaroid film for the guest book. “I was running around doing last minute things, and she said she couldn’t bc of a nail appointment and then asked me, ‘Didn’t you take today off? You can find time to get it.'” She also refused to wear the thematic shirt the bride’s future mother-in-law made bridal party members for the rehearsal dinner. “Needless to say, everyone was pretty fed up with her at this point.”

The bride also asked her maid of honor to pick up bagels for everyone to enjoy on the morning of the wedding, and she “complained about doing it and was angry when people weren’t eating them.” Finally, on the morning of the wedding, the maid of honor asked if she could have her hair and makeup done last. “I told her no, and that she could do that when she gets married,” the bride notes.

“A MOH is not a handmaid,” one user replied to the original poster. “Everything you read on Reddit about what MOHs are supposed to do to serve their brides is b******. It was never this way before. A MOH is not there to plan a wedding. She does a bach party if she can. It is not a given.” Another user noted that there was “lots of telling and not a lot of asking,” which could have been the issue.

Yet another user summed up the general public’s feelings perfectly: “She might have been lazy but her job is to stand next to you at the ceremony. Everything else you ‘required’ is on you for not laying out expectations (so that she could refuse). She’s not your personal assistant,” they wrote.