Groom’s Mom Asks Couple to Return $5k Wedding Gift

If there’s one question our editors field time and time again, it’s this: How much say do parents really get over the wedding when they’re making a financial contribution to the day? Though our tried-and-true party line is that this is your wedding, and a monetary gift doesn’t buy final say over the celebration, it is important that you discuss any wishes or stipulations with your loved ones before accepting their funds. And, as the person making a financial contribution to a child’s wedding, it’s important that you inform your child if your gift comes with any strings attached. Based on a recent Reddit post on the platform’s r/AITAH subreddit, one mother of the groom is beginning to regret the financial gift she gave her son and future daughter-in-law and is wondering if it’s acceptable for her to ask for her money back.

On a thread titled “WIBTAH for wanting to ask my son for my gifted wedding money back?” the original poster notes that her son, George, is engaged to a woman named Melanie, and they’re currently planning a wedding for sometime in the winter of 2026. George is the OP’s only child, and she and his father are no longer married; they each contributed $5,000 to their son’s wedding, and Melanie’s parent’s contributed $10,000, so both sides of the family have paid an equal share.

The wedding itself will be an intimate affair, the poster notes. “They’re having a micro wedding with 40 guests, no alcohol, and a gelato/affogato bar. Melanie is Hindu, but she’s agreed to forgo the religious aspects of her faith in the wedding while keeping some cultural traditions, like wearing a red outfit, exchanging garlands, henna, and having a single-day ceremony instead of multiple days,” she explains of the plans.

While the groom’s mother doesn’t seem to take issue with the overarching plans themselves, she is upset with some of the finer details, including the cost of wedding attire. “Over the weekend, he told me his tuxedo is going to cost $1K (including shoes, alterations, and monogramming),” the poster explains. “I told him that’s foolish because he could just rent one for much cheaper. I also said Melanie could get a more affordable outfit online. George pushed back, saying he doesn’t want something used and that Melanie’s outfits aren’t easy to find secondhand because of her size and cultural needs. He also mentioned that he plans to reuse the tuxedo multiple times after the wedding.”

For her own part, the poster noted that she spent just $5,000 on her entire wedding, but it was “a family reunion picnic, and everyone showed up in jeans and t-shirts.” Then, she gets to the heart of her concerns: “I can’t help but feel like Melanie’s fancy ways are rubbing off on George, and I’m questioning if the money I gifted him is being used responsibly,” she writes. “I’m starting to wonder if I should ask for it back.” Ultimately, it seems the mother of the groom has taken issue with the woman her son wants to marry, and she would be unhappy with their plans, no matter what they did.

Reddit users were quick to note that the groom’s mother is absolutely in the wrong—not the couple. “As politely as possible, you’re an idiot,” one user replied. “You are in no position to request a gift back because your very low standards of a wedding are being exceeded.” Others agreed, noting that she was using her “gift” as leverage to get her son to plan the wedding she wants, which isn’t right. “You’re trying to use your money as a tool to make your son do what you want for his wedding. It’s not about you, YTA,” one user added.

“A gift, once given, isn’t yours anymore. You gave him this money for his wedding. How he spends it is up to him,” yet another user wrote.