Bride Sobs After Mom Gives Wedding Décor to Best Friend’s Daughter

The décor is often the focal point of a couple’s wedding day, helping them bring their vision to life and allowing them to tell a story about their relationship. From the lighting to the tabletop arrangements, these decorations are usually deeply personal and meaningful, which is why one former bride wanted to save the decorative elements from her special day after she tied the knot in July 2024. Then, without her permission, her mother loaned her wedding décor to her best friend (who declined the former bride’s wedding invitation) for her daughter’s upcoming nuptials, making her visibly upset—a reaction that she’s now second-guessing.

The woman who got married five months ago and is now expecting her first child recalled the situation on Reddit’s “Am I the A——“ subreddit on December 17, 2024, first explaining that her mom’s best friend decided not to attend her July 2024 wedding at the last second because she didn’t want to show up solo since her husband was working, according to the post. “It did hurt me a bit but no one is obligated to come so I didn’t think much of it and I still love her so I gave it up,” the former bride noted.

The original poster also gave a bit of insight into her mother’s relationship with her best friend: According to the former bride, her mom’s friend always expects her mother to take care of various scenarios, and she obliges. This time, the friend asked the former bride’s mother if she could borrow the OP’s wedding décor for her own daughter’s special day, which is taking place next month (January 2025). She told her friend that she “liked it,” even though she never attended the affair. “She didn’t ask me, she doesn’t even have my number,” the former bride wrote. 

Given their dynamic, the OP’s mother lent the decorations to her best friend without consulting her daughter. The former bride found out about the ordeal only because her mother flippantly mentioned, “Oh by the way I told my friends her daughter can pick out some of your decor she likes so she can borrow it for the wedding,” the former bride recalled of her mom’s words.

Upon hearing this, the Redditor broke down in tears—one, because she’s dealing with pregnancy hormones, per the post, but also because her wedding décor has sentimental value. “I just felt so hurt that my mum was willing to just use my stuff like that,” she admitted. “I told her I was not okay with it and she’s saying ‘well if I tell her no then I will have to buy it to make up for it,’ and I said ‘her mum didn’t even come to my wedding, you don’t need to do anything!’” The OP also noted that she was saving her wedding décor to repurpose as home décor after she gives birth. “I want it to be specially used by me and his/her daddy, not some girl I barely know,” she revealed.

After explaining how meaningful the décor is to her, her mother doesn’t seem to understand her perspective. “She says I’m making a big deal about it and that I need to share and maybe she’s right but I just don’t want to, not with my wedding stuff,” the bride admitted. Given her mother’s response, she’s questioning her emotional reaction. “I feel like I might be the AH cause I can’t stop crying and I’m probably being selfish and spoiled,” she wrote.

The internet reassured the former bride that her emotions are completely valid and that she did absolutely nothing wrong in this situation. “You’re not being selfish,” a fellow Redditor told her. “Your wedding was a special occasion, and your decor is part of those memories. It’s okay to want to keep it for yourself.” Another encouraged her, “Sometimes it’s okay to put your own needs and wants ahead of others, but ESPECIALLY in this circumstance. This is your stuff. Nobody else gets to say what happens to it. You are absolutely NTA.”

After relieving the former bride of her perceived wrongdoings, many Redditors vilified the woman’s mother. “Your mum made a stupid decision and it’s up to her to fix, it shouldn’t be put on you at all when you have your own life to live,” another person declared, while someone else added, “No matter what circumstances nobody should loan out anything that is not theirs. It’s especially atrocious that your mother is trying to guilt you after she offered your WEDDING decorations to a person who couldn’t be bothered to come to your wedding.” 

Many also added while her best friend is also at fault, her mother has enabled her friend’s behavior. “Your mom sounds pretty toxic, downplaying the importance you attach to your wedding decor, trying to guilt trip you into giving away your wedding decor and does not appear to care if her best friend walks all over you,” a Redditor said.