Bride Plans $5K European Bachelorette Party No One Can Afford

When you agree to be a bridesmaid in someone’s wedding, you’re also agreeing to support them in the months leading up to the big day. Generally speaking, this includes helping with some pre-nuptial tasks, like choosing a wedding dress and mailing invitations, and attending celebratory events, such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party. Of course, there are always some exceptions to these rules—maybe you have another commitment, like a family member’s wedding, on the day of your pal’s bridal shower, or perhaps you don’t have enough vacation time to attend a bachelorette party and a destination wedding. In those instances, most engaged people will understand if you have to bow out. But what are you supposed to do if you commit to attending only to realize that the price tag is too steep? That’s what happened to one Reddit user, who took to the platform’s r/wedding sub-Reddit for advice on what to do about her friend’s forthcoming European bachelorette party.

In a thread titled “Bride planned a luxury European bachelorette party,” the original poster explained that she had been looking forward to celebrating her friend’s upcoming wedding with a girl’s getaway. She knew that the bride wanted to head to Europe for the special occasion from the jump, and she was happy to attend although she knew it would require a significant investment on her part. To ensure she could be there, she “planned a budget that was pretty generous in my opinion because I was looking forward to it.” Unfortunately, once the plans had been made—seemingly without any input from the other attendees—the OP and other bridesmaids were shocked by the costs.

“We all just got added into a google slide with the accommodations/activities – $5000+ each base costs just for a bachelorette party,” the Reddit user explained. “We’re all in our early 20’s and even though some of us have decent [sic] jobs, most are still in college there’s no way anyone could comfortably afford it. I’m mind boggled.” What was fueling the hefty price tag? According to the bridesmaid, the accommodations were a significant factor. “She chose a luxury resort thats going to cost each bridesmaid 500+ a night for shared rooms and even though it’s an extravagant trip she’s not paying for a single thing,” the OP noted.

It’s not just the bachelorette party expenses that are weighing on the group—everyone is also attending the couple’s destination wedding, for which they need to pay for flights and accommodations. “It’s in the US but everyone is having to pay to travel to the wedding/accommodations for the wedding as well,” the bridesmaid explains. “I want to be supportive and be there for her to live her dream wedding/bach but everyone has been terrified to say anything because she’s been dead set on this for so long we just didn’t know she would make it so expensive.”

A further dilemma the bridesmaid is now facing is that she knows the costs will increase for everyone else if she chooses to drop out. What’s more, she feels strongly that a European bachelorette party can be planned for far less, but she didn’t have the opportunity to share tips or ideas. “Is that a normal amount to ask your friends to pay for a bachelorette trip?? it seems so insane to me and honestly so rude to put that on your friends and I’m scared to say anything because the trip can ABSOLUTELY be done for thousands cheaper but her and her maid of honor have everything planned out to the detail and don’t feel like I’m in a position to tell them,” she wrote.

Users were quick to support the original poster, with many noting that asking friends and family members to pay that much money for a bachelorette party is unheard of. “I have never heard of asking the bridal party to pay $5000 for anything,” one user replied. “I am just mind blown and shocked.” Others jumped in with practical advice on how to approach the bride. “Be direct with her. And do it today. You need to tell her today that you will not be attending because you cannot afford it and they should plan accordingly. Do not let her talk you out of this decision, do not let her try to convince you otherwise,” one user shared.