Bride Mails Bizarre Letter to Fiancé’s Ex With Save-the-Date

A save-the-date is one of the most exciting pieces of mail to receive. Whether you’re already aware of the details surrounding your loved one’s big day or are just now hearing of their plans to say “I do,” it’s heartwarming to know that they want you in attendance at their nuptials. However, one woman on TikTok recently received an unusual type of save-the-date—one that didn’t necessarily invite her to join the couple at their future celebration. Instead, her ex-boyfriend’s partner decided to pen the user a note, detailing the role that she had played in their relationship dynamic. 

The video, which was posted by Cara Kim on the social media platform on December 18, 2024, begins with a photo of her overlooking a body of water with text reading: “being hard on myself feeling like I didn’t achieve enough this year.” In the next slide, it cuts to a picture of a save-the-date accompanied by a handwritten note dated January 18, 2024. The text over the slide reads, “what i actually achieved: received a letter and wedding invite from my ex boyfriend’s (now) wife saying I never mattered to him (he was my first love) & chose to ignore it instead of be petty.” 

While the save-the-date indicates that the wedding occurred earlier this year—on May 26, 2024, in Little Rock, Arkansas—users were quick to dissect the note that accompanied the invite. “Dear Cara, I had a few extra that I used for prototyping, so I figured I’d send you one with this note,” the letter reads. “Thank you for keeping Martin company while I was figuring out what it was that I wanted. I’m so sorry that you became collateral damage as soon as I did. I apologized to Martin for my indecision causing him so much pain, but I never got the chance to apologize to you. I wish you all the best!” The woman then includes a postscript, noting that “though a response isn’t necessary # is [redacted].” TikTok users were quick to respond to the post, writing that Kim had already “won” the dynamic. “If he chose to be with someone who would do that, I think you’re the winner for not being with him,” one person wrote. “Stay winning queen” Others echoed a similar sentiment: “even just receiving this WAS the accomplishment babe. Rent free” 

With over 110,000 likes and 2,000 comments, many pushed Kim for a more detailed explanation on the dynamic, which she provided in a follow-up video. “At the beginning of our relationship, we went over our previous romantic history,” Kim says. “He told me that he had this best friend in college, and they became a thing, and then she ended it, and they were no longer best friends….He seemed more hurt that they weren’t best friends anymore, not that they weren’t together.” She goes on to explain how roughly a year later, even though the two had planned to do long distance, her ex suddenly decided to dump her and soon began dating his former best friend again. A few years after their split, she received a package—containing the perplexing letter and the save-the-date. “I don’t know why she’s apologizing to me,” she says in the video. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. That girl owes me nothing. I’ve literally never met her in my life. I don’t know her. To me, it just felt like she just wanted to show that they’re getting married.”