12 Words and Phrases to Add to Your Relationship Vocabulary

The way we talk about relationships has changed a lot over the last decade, as has dating itself. More and more people connect through online dating apps, such as Hinge and Tinder, rather than out in the real world. Instead of waiting by the phone for a potential romantic interest to call, you may text them—or even slide into their DMs. And rather than just taking the words of wisdom your friends and family offer you in response to your dating wins and challenges, you may head to TikTok or Instagram for insights and stumble across a user’s take on a scenario that you too are experiencing in the process. In your scroll, you may also encounter new phrases or words tied to your romantic life, such as codependency, red flags, or even breadcrumbing. 

All of these new concepts, some informed and inspired by self-help and therapy-speak, can often feel like a foreign language, especially if you’re just getting back into the dating world. If you find yourself feeling confused about the difference between gaslighting and ghosting—or wondering whether you’re in a relationship or a situationship, this comprehensive guide can help clarify just that, helping decode what’s actually happening in your (or a friend’s) romantic life.

Here, Sabrina Zohar, a dating and relationships coach, entrepreneur, and the host of The Sabrina Zohar Show podcast, defines each of these key terms and explains how they may play a role in your romantic relationships.

Green Flag

It’s just like a stoplight: Green means go. “A green flag is a sign of healthy relationship dynamics—think respect, clear communication, and emotional availability,” says Zohar. “It shifts the focus from spotting what’s wrong to celebrating what’s right, encouraging healthier approaches to dating.” 

Red Flag

A red flag denotes a negative behavior pattern that pops up repeatedly. However, oftentimes, particularly on social media, it becomes a blanket catch-all for anything from a minor annoyance to actual toxic behavior. “People love to slap the term ‘red flag’ on minor quirks or disagreements,” Zohar says. “Not every imperfection is a dealbreaker. Disrespect and garbage communication are red flags, not if they didn’t text you for three hours. Look for behaviors that consistently compromise your emotional safety or values.”

Beige Flag

While it may be easy to wrap your brain around the concept of a red or green flag, a beige (not yellow!) one is a bit more complex. “A beige flag is a harmless quirk or neutral trait in someone that doesn’t affect compatibility but might make you pause or laugh,” Zohar says. “Beige flags reflect how our brains notice patterns—even meaningless ones—as we try to make sense of compatibility. They often show up when we’re overanalyzing minor details in the absence of deeper clarity.”

Breadcrumbing

As its name suggests, breadcrumbing is when someone you’re dating or chatting with gives you just enough attention to keep you engaged and interested, but not much more than that. “Breadcrumbing relies on intermittent reinforcement—a psychological principle where unpredictable rewards, such as a text here or a compliment there, keep you hooked because your brain craves the next ‘hit,’” explains Zohar. “It resonates with people frustrated by modern dating, where emotional unavailability and mixed signals are all too common.” When someone is breadcrumbing you, it can be difficult to know if they’re actually interested in you or just keeping you on the back burner.

Codependency

Codependency is an attachment theory that describes when one partner sacrifices their needs and wants to prioritize the other person’s, creating a false sense of security in a dynamic. However, be careful when you apply this term to a partnership: Many close relationships are erroneously referred to as codependent, Zohar says. “Ask yourself: Is this relationship balanced and reciprocal, or am I neglecting my own needs to feel secure?,” she says. “Codependency involves self-neglect, not just strong care or connection.”

Cuffing Season

As the temperatures start to dip, and we begin to spend more time indoors, we’ve officially entered “cuffing season.” Often used as a humorous joke, this term refers to the period of time in the winter (and particularly around the holidays) when people are more inclined and motivated to find someone to couple up with. Yet there’s also a valid explanation behind this seemingly lighthearted phenomenon. “Seasonal affective disorder and societal expectations during the holidays can amplify the brain’s craving for connection,” Zohar says. “Seeking companionship during cuffing season can be a way to regulate emotional lows or loneliness.” Ultimately, once spring rolls around, these relationships tend to end.

Gaslighting

Arguably one of the most popular dating-related words and concepts in recent years, gaslighting refers to power dynamics in relationships. “Gaslighting is a deliberate tactic to make someone doubt their own reality, often to control, deflect blame, or avoid accountability,” Zohar says. “As people become more aware of emotional abuse, the term empowers them to name and address toxic behaviors that once went unchecked.” However, because the word is so popular, it’s frequently misused. “Before labeling something as gaslighting, ask: Is this person intentionally distorting my reality, or are we dealing with a miscommunication or conflicting viewpoints?,” Zohar says. Answering this question will help you determine whether you’re in a toxic dynamic—or just in the midst of a disagreement. 

Ghosting

Ghosting occurs when someone completely disappears from a situation and is never heard from again—just like the spooky Halloween creature. However, Zohar says many people erroneously label the end of a dynamic as ghosting. “Ghosting gets thrown around for any situation where someone stops responding, even if there was no real emotional investment or deeper connection,” she says. “Not every unanswered text is ghosting.” For example, if you and a potential romantic interest slowly start to lose interest in one another, stop texting, and ultimately cease communication entirely, that isn’t considering ghosting on either end. However, if you want to exit a dynamic in which strong feelings have emerged and decide to suddenly stop responding to someone with no explanation, you’re ghosting them.

The urge to ghost often comes from a fear of letting someone down or having a difficult conversation. It’s often driven by a desire to avoid feelings of discomfort or confrontation. “Ghosting taps into the brain’s fear of rejection, triggering feelings of abandonment and insecurity that stem from attachment wounds,” Zohar says. “For the ghoster, it’s a defense mechanism—avoiding discomfort or vulnerability rather than facing it head-on.” When someone ghosts you, it can feel unsettling, leading to frustration, confusion, and a desire for closure.

Love Bombing

Love bombing occurs when you’re newly dating someone, and they quickly go overboard, flooding you with gifts, attention, and affection as a way to create intimacy. However, this passion and validation doesn’t last. “Love bombing triggers dopamine and oxytocin—the brain’s feel-good chemicals—creating an addictive cycle,” Zohar says. “The crash comes when the affection is abruptly withdrawn, leaving you confused and hurt.” To determine if you’re being love bombed, she advises looking for follow-through. “Are their actions aligned with their words over time, or do they disappear once you’re hooked?,” she says. “You don’t need to meet someone’s family after a week, and, no, you’re not the love of their life after two dates.”

Mirroring

“Mirroring is when someone mimics your behavior, tone, or interests to create connection or rapport,” Zohar says. Though this can often be framed as a negative thing, she says it’s a natural part of how we interact with one another. “Our brains are wired with mirror neurons that help us empathize and connect,” she says. “Natural mirroring builds trust, but when it’s used intentionally to manipulate, it can create a false sense of alignment that falls apart over time.” Ultimately, it’s up to you to determine whether this connection is real or a performance.

Situationship

Have you been seeing someone for awhile but haven’t put a label on it? Whether it’s due to your or your partner’s hesitancy, one of you is likely confused by the dynamic. Rather than being in an established relationship, you two may be in a “situationship,” which characterizes the uncertainty that’s present. This popular dating term “reflects the modern dating trend of avoiding traditional labels, while highlighting the emotional challenges that come with unclear expectations,” Zohar says. “The ambiguity feels safer, even as it creates emotional turbulence.”

If you’re in a situationship and want something more, push yourself to have a conversation with your match. “Communicate and stop living in ambiguity,” Zohar says “It’ll help your anxiety more than you’ll know. Even if you two ultimately decide you want different things, you’ll be better off knowing that now, versus months down the road when it’s harder to move on.

The Ick

Have you gotten “the ick” before? It happens to all of us. The ick is “a sudden, inexplicable feeling of losing attraction to someone, often triggered by small, random behaviors,” says Zohar. Maybe it’s the way someone sits in a chair or a word they use far too frequently for your liking. And while it’s a common bit in memes and TikTok videos, the ick can also be a way to hide your own vulnerability and fear of intimacy. When confronting your own icks about someone, Zohar recommends asking yourself if it’s really a dealbreaker or actually just a small annoyance. (Remember: None of us are perfect humans.) Rather than calling something off due to an irrelevant habit or tendency, examine what’s actually bothering you.